Description - In this entertaining short piece meant to be either heard or read, a conference speaker intentionally mangles his introduction, ‘toungling his tang’ and ‘wixing his mords’.  The phrase ‘dropped my slipper’ becomes ‘slopped my dripper’ and the title of the session ‘Election Fraud Reduction In The Developing World’ morphs to ‘Flawed Erectile Dysfunction In The Developing World’. 

Excerpt - “Good afternoon gentles and ladies men,” said the new speaker at the conference on Issues in the Developing World.  He looked down at the podium, shaking his head, an obvious grimace on his face.  “Sorry,” he continued.  “Sometimes when I’m nervous, my tang gets toungled and I wix my mords.”  He paused again, the expression even more pronounced.  He resumed, “I’m afraid someday that will happen when I have to introduce someone important, like ‘May I present Gimpy McDalton’, or ‘The Prime Minister of Canada, Harpy Stevedore’.”The laughter we had been sympathetically restraining burst out as we realized his gaffes were intentional.

He continued, “When that happens, I need to get it out of my system.  So before I talk about – he paused, then enunciated very slowly and carefully -  “Election Fraud Reduction,” – he halted briefly again, then said, “I almost called it  ‘Flawed Erectile Dysfunction’,”  then continued, “give me a minute to talk about something else.”